Child's Play: Part II

"Donkey Kong is 'lame.' Tetris is boring.' Space Invaders 'needs a superbomb or something.' And why play Pong when it's more fun to 'jump up and down on one foot'? Hey, save your irate letters--we didn't say this stuff. The nostalgia-nuking commentary is from EGM's November 2003 issue, in which we had kids of the PlayStation generation playtest classic games from the '70s and '80s....

It was our most popular article ever. So we're doing it again, with a new batch of brittle truckers and a new bucket of classic games....

[Defender]
Bobby: I've played this on my cell phone.

EGM: [Pointing to the humans on the ground] What do they look like?

Parker: They look like those little characters in the game Life, the little people you have to stick in your car.

EGM: Before this came out in compilations, we used to put quarters in arcade machines.

Parker: You wasted quarters on this?

EGM: Yeah.

Parker: That's so sad....

Rachel: If I knew what any of these buttons meant, I might push them....

[Galaga]
Parker: Space Invaders...all these games are exactly the same--there's no real difference.

EGM: What does this game need to make it as good as Space Invaders?

Parker: Worse graphics." [1Up.com, via Gadgetopia]