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* Monday, August 6, 2007

Made You Laugh

Activision Reports Sluggish Sales For Sousaphone Hero

"Despite a catchy 1890s soundtrack and realistic-feeling game play, Sousaphone Hero, the third installment of Activision's massively popular Guitar Hero video game franchise, sold a mere 52 copies in the United States in its opening week, the company reported Monday....

'And if you like multiplayer gaming, you're in luck,' Hendleman continued. 'In Sousaphone Hero's cooperative marching-band mode, as many as 135 of your friends can play simultaneously.'

Hendleman also emphasized the 'fun' rewards players receive as they become more proficient. If they hit enough correct notes in a row, the on-screen crowd yells 'huzzah' and 'bully,' and the sousaphone controller's spit valve will drain.' Flubbing notes, however, makes the controller 'ill' with spit, preventing further play and causing the crowd to throw rotten eggs at the hapless on-screen sousaphonist. If characters earn enough bonus points in career mode, they can spend their Liberty-head nickels on a red, green, or blue 'sock' for their sousaphone's bell, or an invigorating chunk of peanut brittle...." [The Onion, via John and Teresa - thanks!]

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